Try using both hands next time. Revolutionary concept, I know.
Your aim is a war crime against pixels everywhere.
Even NPCs have higher K/D ratios than you.
Get a coach. Or a new hobby. Maybe knitting?
You bring a plastic spoon to a nuclear gunfight.
Congrats, you peaked during the character creation screen.
Reloading? You never even hit the broad side of a barn.
You play like you're lagging in real life.
Are you playing with your elbows? Genuinely curious.
The game's not broken. Your skills are.
You make storm troopers look like sharpshooters.
Your gaming chair isn't the problem. You are.
Even the tutorial gave up on you.
You're why respawn timers were invented.
Your sensitivity settings won't fix your lack of talent.
Your crosshair placement is more like crosshair misplacement.
You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.
Your game sense is as sharp as a bowling ball.
You're single-handedly keeping the death cam busy.
Your reflexes have the speed of continental drift.
You play like your monitor is turned off.
Your tactical awareness is about as good as Helen Keller's.
You're the reason friendly fire was invented.
Your movement looks like you're playing with mittens on.
You have the mechanical skill of a potato.
Your positioning is worse than a medieval plague victim.
You're proof that money can't buy skill.
Your game IQ is in the negative numbers.
You make bronze players look like pros.
Your spray pattern looks like abstract art.
You're the human equivalent of packet loss.
Your clutch potential is about as real as unicorns.
You play like you're using a steering wheel as a mouse.
Your game sense expired before it was manufactured.
You're why they invented difficulty settings.
Your aim is so bad, you miss the ground when you fall.
You're the reason why auto-aim was invented.
Your strategy is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.
You play like you're allergic to winning.
Your skills are so rusty, they need a tetanus shot.
You're the living embodiment of a skill issue.
Your performance makes participation trophies feel ashamed.
You have the spatial awareness of a blindfolded mole.
Your decision-making is sponsored by Murphy's Law.
You're why they put warning labels on everything.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own disappointment.
You play like you're trying to set a record for most creative ways to lose.
Your game sense is about as developed as a newborn's.
You're the reason why rage quitting was invented.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a second opinion.
You make beginners look like seasoned veterans.
Your reaction time is measured in geological epochs.
You're the human equivalent of a blue screen of death.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a butter knife.
You play like you're trying to speedrun losing.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss the ocean from a boat.
You're why they invented the mute button.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping sloth's.
You make random button mashing look strategic.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in a museum.
You're the reason why carry players exist.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS with no signal.
You play like you're using a trackball from 1995.
Your game sense is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot.
You're the living proof that practice doesn't make perfect.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has commitment issues.
You make NPCs look like they have better AI.
Your strategy is about as solid as wet tissue paper.
You're why they invented the surrender button.
Your skills are so questionable, they need an intervention.
You play like you're trying to lose on purpose.
Your game IQ is lower than room temperature.
You're the reason why tutorials exist.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss a barn from inside it.
You make beginners question their own abilities.
Your reaction time is sponsored by Internet Explorer.
You're the human equivalent of a loading screen error.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as a spoon.
You play like you're allergic to objectives.
Your skills are so rusty, they're more like dust.
You're why they invented the spectator mode.
Your game sense is about as developed as a fish's.
You make random chance look skillful.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit yourself in a mirror.
You're the reason why boost services exist.
Your positioning is worse than a tourist without a map.
You play like you're using a controller made of jello.
Your game awareness is about as good as a blind bat's.
You make button mashing look like a legitimate strategy.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate the internet.
You're the reason why easy mode was invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has multiple personality disorder.
You make AI bots look like they have feelings.
Your strategy is about as effective as a screen door on a spaceship.
You're why they invented the quit button.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a lawyer.
You play like you're trying to set a world record for fastest defeat.
Your game IQ is so low, it's underground.
You're the reason why matchmaking exists.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss the point of this conversation.
You make training dummies look skilled.
Your reaction time is measured in business days.
You're the human equivalent of a syntax error.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a wet noodle.
You play like you're speedrunning disappointment.
Your skills are so rusty, they need WD-40.
You're why they invented the report button.
Your game sense is about as developed as a goldfish's memory.
You make random luck look like pure skill.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit water in a swimming pool.
You're the reason why smurfing was invented.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS in a tunnel.
You play like you're using a mouse made of soap.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping bear's.
You make chaos look organized.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in a time capsule.
You're the reason why single-player games exist.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it needs therapy.
You make beginner's luck look like a PhD in gaming.
Your strategy is about as solid as a house of cards in a hurricane.
You're why they invented the alt+F4 shortcut.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a background check.
You play like you're trying to achieve maximum inefficiency.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the Earth's core.
You're the reason why practice mode exists.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss a stationary target with a homing missile.
You make NPCs look like they have better reflexes.
Your reaction time is sponsored by dial-up internet.
You're the human equivalent of a frozen screen.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as a cloud.
You play like you're allergic to success.
Your skills are so rusty, they're archaeological artifacts.
You're why they invented the uninstall button.
Your game sense is about as developed as a rock's.
You make pure chance look like calculated strategy.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own mistakes.
You're the reason why casual mode was invented.
Your positioning is worse than a lost tourist in a maze.
You play like you're using a keyboard made of pudding.
Your game awareness is about as good as a hibernating animal's.
You make button spamming look like an art form.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate electricity.
You're the reason why AI difficulty was invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has an identity crisis.
You make training wheels look advanced.
Your strategy is about as effective as a umbrella made of tissue paper.
You're why they invented the pause button.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a polygraph test.
You play like you're trying to break the game through sheer incompetence.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in negative numbers.
You're the reason why co-op mode exists.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss the moon from Earth.
You make luck look like pure skill in comparison.
Your reaction time is measured in seasons.
You're the human equivalent of a glitched NPC.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a marshmallow.
You play like you're speedrunning failure.
Your skills are so rusty, they're more like ancient relics.
You're why they invented the spectate option.
Your game sense is about as developed as a plant's.
You make randomness look strategic.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit yourself if you tried.
You're the reason why difficulty sliders exist.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS with no satellites.
You play like you're using a controller made of butter.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping log's.
You make panic look like a legitimate tactic.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in a history book.
You're the reason why auto-save was invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it needs medication.
You make beginners look like they were born with controllers in their hands.
Your strategy is about as solid as a sandcastle at high tide.
You're why they invented the restart button.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a second opinion from a doctor.
You play like you're trying to achieve maximum chaos.
Your game IQ is so low, it's subterranean.
You're the reason why cheat codes exist.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss a target the size of a building.
You make random button presses look like calculated moves.
Your reaction time is sponsored by snail mail.
You're the human equivalent of a corrupted save file.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as fog.
You play like you're allergic to winning streaks.
Your skills are so rusty, they're museum pieces.
You're why they invented the forfeit option.
Your game sense is about as developed as a doorknob's.
You make wild guessing look like scientific precision.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own ego.
You're the reason why god mode was invented.
Your positioning is worse than a compass without a needle.
You play like you're using a mouse made of ice.
Your game awareness is about as good as a brick wall's.
You make chaos theory look organized.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate the wheel.
You're the reason why infinite lives were invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has a restraining order against accuracy.
You make pure luck look like years of training.
Your strategy is about as effective as a chocolate fireguard.
You're why they invented the exit game option.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a witness protection program.
You play like you're trying to set a record for most creative defeats.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the Earth's mantle.
You're the reason why god mode cheat codes exist.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss the ground if you dropped something.
You make NPCs look like they have emotions.
Your reaction time is measured in geological periods.
You're the human equivalent of a memory leak.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a cotton ball.
You play like you're speedrunning confusion.
Your skills are so rusty, they're fossilized.
You're why they invented the skip level button.
Your game sense is about as developed as a paperweight's.
You make random noise look like communication.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the point of a joke.
You're the reason why invincibility modes exist.
Your positioning is worse than a broken compass in a magnetic field.
You play like you're using a keyboard made of jello.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping rock's.
You make panic attacks look like strategic planning.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in the Stone Age.
You're the reason why unlimited continues were invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it needs a GPS to find accuracy.
You make beginners look like they have decades of experience.
Your strategy is about as solid as a house made of playing cards.
You're why they invented the auto-pilot feature.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a therapist.
You play like you're trying to achieve maximum entropy.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in another dimension.
You're the reason why creative mode exists.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss a barn from inside it with a shotgun.
You make random chance look like divine intervention.
Your reaction time is sponsored by the postal service.
You're the human equivalent of a blue screen error.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as a balloon.
You play like you're allergic to coordination.
Your skills are so rusty, they're carbon dated.
You're why they invented the give up button.
Your game sense is about as developed as a houseplant's.
You make wild flailing look like martial arts.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own disappointment.
You're the reason why observer mode was invented.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS in the Bermuda Triangle.
You play like you're using a controller made of soap.
Your game awareness is about as good as a comatose patient's.
You make anarchy look structured.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate written language.
You're the reason why no-fail modes exist.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has multiple personality disorder.
You make beginners look like they were born with natural talent.
Your strategy is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.
You're why they invented the ragequit feature.
Your skills are so questionable, they need an exorcism.
You play like you're trying to achieve maximum inefficiency.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the Earth's core.
You're the reason why cheats exist.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss the ocean from a cruise ship.
You make pure randomness look like calculated genius.
Your reaction time is measured in ice ages.
You're the human equivalent of a system crash.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a wet sponge.
You play like you're speedrunning bewilderment.
Your skills are so rusty, they're archaeological specimens.
You're why they invented the spectator cam.
Your game sense is about as developed as a piece of furniture's.
You make noise look like music.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the point of this roast.
You're the reason why invulnerability cheats were invented.
Your positioning is worse than a broken GPS in a black hole.
You play like you're using a mouse made of liquid.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping statue's.
You make disasters look organized.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in a museum of gaming history.
You're the reason why unlimited ammo modes exist.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it needs a support group.
You make novices look like they have innate gaming abilities.
Your strategy is about as solid as a house of cards in a tornado.
You're why they invented the surrender option.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a security clearance.
You play like you're trying to achieve peak disorder.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the planet's core.
You're the reason why god mode toggles exist.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss a target painted on the ground you're standing on.
You make chaos look like a well-orchestrated symphony.
Your reaction time is sponsored by continental drift.
You're the human equivalent of a buffer overflow.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as a pillow.
You play like you're allergic to competence.
Your skills are so rusty, they're prehistoric.
You're why they invented the auto-complete feature.
Your game sense is about as developed as a mannequin's.
You make random button mashing look like an Olympic sport.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own regret.
You're the reason why infinite health cheats were created.
Your positioning is worse than a compass pointing to disappointment.
You play like you're using a controller made of air.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping mountain's.
You make entropy look like organization.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate the concept of gaming.
You're the reason why no-clip modes exist.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has commitment phobia.
You make amateurs look like they have professional training.
Your strategy is about as effective as a paper umbrella in a hurricane.
You're why they invented the quit without saving option.
Your skills are so questionable, they need witness protection.
You play like you're trying to set a world record for creative failure.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in another galaxy.
You're the reason why creative sandbox modes were invented.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss hitting rock bottom.
You make pure luck look like decades of practice.
Your reaction time is measured in tectonic plate movements.
You're the human equivalent of a kernel panic.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as a cloud of steam.
You play like you're speedrunning confusion and winning.
Your skills are so rusty, they're geological formations.
You're why they invented the watch-only mode.
Your game sense is about as developed as a parking meter's.
You make static noise look like a communication method.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the point of existence.
You're the reason why unlimited lives cheats exist.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS having an existential crisis.
You play like you're using a keyboard made of pudding.
Your game awareness is about as good as a hibernating bear's.
You make natural disasters look well-planned.
Your skills are so outdated, they belong in the primordial soup.
You're the reason why level skip functions were invented.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it needs therapy and medication.
You make beginners look like they were born with controllers grafted to their hands.
Your strategy is about as solid as a sandcastle in a tsunami.
You're why they invented the instant win button.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a congressional hearing.
You play like you're trying to achieve maximum chaos theory.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the Earth's inner core.
You're the reason why easy mode has an even easier mode.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss hitting the delete key on your own gaming career.
You make random quantum fluctuations look like planned events.
Your reaction time is sponsored by the heat death of the universe.
You're the human equivalent of a stack overflow error.
Your tactical awareness is about as sharp as a liquid.
You play like you're allergic to any form of success.
Your skills are so rusty, they're sedimentary layers.
You're why they invented the autoplay feature.
Your game sense is about as developed as a kitchen appliance's.
You make white noise look like a bestselling symphony.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the broad side of your own existence.
You're the reason why invincibility modes have invincibility modes.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS lost in the multiverse.
You play like you're using a controller made of abstract concepts.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping galaxy's.
You make the Big Bang look like a carefully orchestrated event.
Your skills are so outdated, they predate the concept of skill itself.
You're the reason why games come with a 'just watch' option.
Your aim is so inconsistent, it has been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder.
You make rank beginners look like they have PhD's in gaming.
Your strategy is about as effective as a chocolate teapot in hell.
You're why they invented the 'let AI play for you' feature.
Your skills are so questionable, they need a scientific study.
You play like you're trying to achieve peak entropy in the gaming universe.
Your game IQ is so low, it's in the quantum realm.
You're the reason why games come with a 'just win' button.
Your aim is so bad, you'd miss hitting the uninstall button.
You make pure chaos look like a well-rehearsed ballet.
Your reaction time is measured in cosmic background radiation.
You're the human equivalent of a reality.exe has stopped working error.
Your tactical prowess is about as sharp as the concept of nothingness.
You play like you're speedrunning the destruction of gaming as a concept.
Your skills are so rusty, they're fossilized in amber.
You're why they invented the 'game plays itself' mode.
Your game sense is about as developed as a theoretical particle's.
You make the sound of silence look like a Grammy-winning album.
Your aim is so off, you couldn't hit the point of your own gaming journey.
You're the reason why games come with a 'skip to credits' option.
Your positioning is worse than a GPS lost in a parallel dimension.
You play like you're using a controller made of pure energy that somehow still doesn't work.
Your game awareness is about as good as a sleeping concept's.
You make the void look like it has structure and purpose.
Your skills are so outdated, they exist in a timeline before time existed.
You're the reason why games come with a 'just end it' button.